FlickerFics
Cleanse
“Hello, thank you for calling the Homemade Cleaner Hotline. My name’s Sally. How can I help you? Dirty bowl? Sure, dissolve baking soda into water until it makes a paste. Apply it to what’s caked onto the bowl and—what’s that? Ohh, dirty soul? One second, let me consult the ancient texts…”
A Drain Cleaner, Perhaps
“What lab-grown swill are you making me try now?” I ask, holding the unlabeled bottle an arm’s length away.
“I call it Soporific Seltzer™. It’s a sleep aid. An anti-energy drink, if you will.”
I pour a little down the sink. Forest green steam rises out. “I don't think I will, but thanks."
The Other Side
My kitchen is as clean as a whistle. Yesterday’s stains never haunt me.
My body is a temple. Only healthy things may enter.
My spirit… well, I go to my place of worship and pray three times daily. But the sin is still there. If only there were a hotline I could call about such things…
Lightning 100 250
Only the Best of Friends
“Cara, wake up!”
Cara awoke to the transparent face of her best friend, Natalia. “Girl, what? Get out of my dreams, you weirdo.” She shut her eyes again.
“No, please wake up. I’m a ghost. Don’t make me haunt you.”
Cara opened her eyes again and stared at the spectral figure before her. Then she screamed.
Natalia winced. “Ugh, I thought the ghost was supposed to be the one wailing. As if the undiagnosed aneurysm wasn’t bad enough. But please, keep yelling, I’ll wait…”
Cara finally inhaled. “Nat, what the hell? You’re dead?!”
“‘Fraid so.”
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah, sure, whatever. Now listen, I need you to do something for me. It’s really, really important.”
“I don’t know…. Are you about to ask me to break into your house and delete your Internet search history?”
Natalia’s face went slack for a moment. “Okay, turns out I have two things to ask of you.”
“I don’t want to be implicated in any funny business just because you Googled some weird stuff the other day and couldn’t be arsed to use incognito mode.”
“Care, please.” Natalia pouted.
Cara pursed her lips. “Fine. Key still under the potted plant?”
Natalia nodded.
“Great. What’s the other thing?”
“My body,” Natalia said, sheepishly. “It um… soiled itself. I don’t want it found like that.”
“For god’s sake! That’s normal for corpses to do!”
“Well, not mine! I refuse for my gravestone to say, ‘Here lies Natalia “Brown Undies” Mclaine: she shat herself!’”
Fact in Fiction
I didn’t want today to go by without posting, so here you are! I usually have trouble making every piece tie back to one theme, but this one wasn’t too hard. Maybe I’m subconsciously thinking about how much I need to tidy up my house. Or maybe it’s my generally messy brain and its messy thoughts. Or my cluttered email inbox. Honestly, let’s not give it too much thought.
I’ve been more productive the last couple of days in terms of writing, so the current goal is to keep that momentum running. I’m expecting you’ll hear from me again next week (and not a month later…).
I’ve had a look at last issue’s poll, and as is often the case around these parts, it’s a tie! So when I start writing Quick as a Flash issues again, I’ll make sure at least half are standalone works, but otherwise, sequels and universe-expanding works will be fair game. I’ll be sure to create tags so it’s always clear which pieces all go together. I’m looking forward to it!
I really enjoyed the juxtaposition of the clean and dirty in your stories 😊
Cleanliness was right up my alley!! A very enjoyable read!